As wont to happen to me, I start off hot and cool down to a low simmer until perhaps I give the impression that the fire is completely gone. Ergo, the gentle accusations of my husband about my rollercoaster interest in art, photography, and gasp! fitness! Who can blame him? This blog languised for half a year from neglect as I let real life take over my time.
But it is a new year. Yay, 2010! Eleven years of marriage and fifteen of togetherness. Two sons who are truly our pride and joy. Four countries and six abodes. Disparate travel miles scattered over several flyer clubs, countless hotel and shop memberships, almost a terrabyte of digital photos to catalogue our expat life, not to mention meals and bites and feasts to mark occasions both joyous and tragic...such has been my life so far.
I have given up on making new year's resolutions a long time ago. I think it came together with the realization that I never fully enjoyed the body that I had at any moment, always focusing on its flabs and flaws. I stumbled upon some old photographs taken when I was three months pregnant, me - in a two piece bikini, sunning on a rock in the ocean, surrounded by limestone cliffs. Man, I was hot! And I never fully knew it.
So I tell myself to take it easy on the self-flagellation (albeit of the emotional kind). To like my body, and dress it to show its good side, to walk a little taller in my better clothes and fancy shoes. Heck, it's been one challenging journey to get to where I am, I need to like myself.
So now I do, and maybe a little too much. I fear I've spoiled myself with the good life and ignored the inches and lbs, the little aches and pains, the lines and folds... Until I woke up startled at dawn a few days ago with a word ringing in my ears: GOUT! It was followed by DIABETES. The diseases that my late father suffered through until he passed away. What if... I had been warned seven years ago that if I'm careful with my health, I would be susceptible to the same diseases, especially since I had gestational diabetes. And oh yeah, that disease known as the "Big C." Has it been so long ago that I had been sick that I have forgotten my risks?
I had a conversation with God after all my chemo and radiation therapy were done, that if I get twenty more years, I will be so happy, and anything on top of that would be like the icing to the cake. It will be seven years this year.
My eldest is in fifth grade, and the youngest in first grade. A long way to go before I can see them graduate from university, and God-willing, perhaps get married. My husband is just entering his peak and is in the prime of his health. There are so many things we do and still so many things left to be done! I want to be around them for as long as possible, healthy, able and active.
So you see, perhaps it's not a bad idea for me to have a few new year's resolutions. I found a stronger incentive than looking good in a pair of skinny jeans and a tight t-shirt. Motivation, inspiration, reason, thy names are Scott, Jacob and Dylan. I have to, want to be healthy for them. I hope I'm not too late...
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Will blog about my efforts just so I can either rejoice in my accomplishments, or shame myself into doing better ;)
